, , , ,

Living and loving are supposedly staples of a fulfilled life
Yet, what often is negated in this thinking are the losses that occur along the journey
The lingering effects of love
Residual fragments in our thoughts and actions
Of what appears to be no more
Intertwined loves lost

Shedding of these parts of ourselves can be an insurmountable challenge
Filled with all kinds of self-inflected obstacles often found in the stages of grief

Intertwined loves lost are captured in the memories of
Moments of affection
Moments of pride and joy
Moments of togetherness
Moments that are now encouraged to be forgotten and/or replaced
For the sake of our sanity
For the sake of our heartbreak in need of healing
For the sake of our continuing on

Intertwined loves lost are harbored in many of us as we continue on
As if they are no longer shaping all that, or at least a portion of what, we now do and seek
Impasses are unavoidable in this process that we find ourselves
Having to choose which fork in our roads to take
And at what time do we do so?
And once we commit to this, what do we leave behind?
Our own opportunity costs are as James Baldwin eloquently stated, “The Price of the Ticket”
And with each case, the price that we are to pay is very steep
Laden with:
Failed promises
Replaced with distance, coldness, and the position as an afterthought

Intertwined loves lost are scattered landmines that cannot truly be avoided
Stepping on them is part of the discovery that love requires
How we survive the aftermath is crucial to
who we ultimately will become for the next opportunity
There is no physical therapy afforded to whomever is caught in this circumstance
There is no elixir that adequately works
although time is touted as the primary remedy
A spider web has been woven with traps awaiting our arrival
Once you’ve recognized that you’ve been ensnared, how will you respond?

Intertwined loves lost
for all that they leave with us
are often still worth every moment that we had when in their midst
I, for one, do not regret my opportunities
Yet, I do regret their outcomes
No need to say any names
as it does not matter beyond the feelings that reside within me
And they remain
as vivid as the day that my heart was overcome
by emotions that govern much of who I am
Yes, I still love those who have
at whatever moments in time
enthralled me in their webs

I am forever shaped by them
My very own experiences with
Intertwined loves lost…