Category Archives: Live In The Discomfort

Reflective thoughts about ways that living in discomfort promotes self actualization and growth. How do things in your life require you to live in the discomfort?

Emotionally Adrift

13 Friday Dec 2013

Posted by in Live In The Discomfort, Poetry

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The awkwardness of life circumstances
Often bewilder unsuspecting souls
Leaving them wondering what and why.
What is the purpose?
Why did or is it happening?
What can they learn from it?
Derivatives of what and why echo throughout my head and heart
As I grapple with the finality that life’s beginning always requires
Its ending
Grief is something that I know that I have experienced enough for several lifetimes but I know that for each day that I’m afforded
I’m ensured that the experience is not too distant for me to forget its potential return
This is why I continue to struggle with the meaning of personal attachments
We open ourselves up to the beauties of another’s journey
only to one day see it fade away
Whether expected or not
The pain of loss is one that I have yet to master
Ironically the pain of embracing seems to be even more painful for me
I see letting others close to me as a paradox that I’m no longer sure I wish to explore
Why and what, resurface in the most complex ways
Why do we need others in our lives so desperately?
Is something that confounds me and my current state
Why does embracing others into our worlds require such risks for such immeasurable rewards?
What does a life of exile offer us in contrast?
I rely on the thoughts of Said and Sarte to fill my void
Insofar
I still have not figured this out to any real conclusion
In moments of loss and potential gains
Seeds of existential thoughts permeate my realm
As the struggle for control of each circumstance is undertaken
So far the winner does not reside within my shell
Tormented by uncertainties that beg to be asked
Yet frightfully unwilling to seek out the answer
But for tiny increments of time
when I engage my thoughts and imagination
within the written word
I am free of all that burdens me
thereby
provided a release from all that haunts me
beyond what I normally share
Some see this as humanity at its core
I see it as an exercise that I’ve learned,
which seems like so long ago
In a sense this serves as a substitute for the inactivity that entraps me
A paralysis that is of my own doing
I suppose
Emotionally Adrift
This is a journey that I am and have committed myself to
for a plethora of reasons
However
I have yet to construct a path that fits the worlds of so many who I have come in contact with throughout this odyssey
I am not Ulysses
yet I now wonder if
I seek a modern day Penelope and Telemachus
for my own return from my peculiar internal wars
that seem to plague me as if I were in an era long ago
My armor consists of an air indifference to the casual onlooker
My weapon is a lyrical medley of articulations that flow via synapses
Linking eclectic renderings…

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Living in the Discomfort

05 Saturday Oct 2013

Posted by in Live In The Discomfort, Poetry

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Entering into a new phase in the journey that has become my life’s mission
Not sure what it entails and whom it touches
I have been blessed beyond my comprehension and current capacity
Imagery of what I am and who I am perceived to be varies based on the vantage point of the spectator
This point has been revisited as often as I have taken air into my lungs or so it would seem
The miracle that I have come to see my life routinely represent, finds me on the cusp of achieving an inspiring goal that will result in my being viewed in entirely new ways.
As a thinker, scholar, or community advocate to name a few.
It has not been so long ago that I was that lost soul who needed others to complete him
Make me feel worthy of existence
Today, my need is clear
My purpose is resolute
Yet my destination has yet to surface
The embodiment of a beautiful struggle
One that pulls me in multiple directions
Through multiple worlds and realities
From an abstract conception into a concrete set of experiences
that I have begun to understand and articulate for others to digest for their inner selves
This has become a beautiful space filled with much uncharted territory to uncover
An existential terrain that propagates me to unravel the mysteries that enshroud this perceived destiny of mine
Stringing together symbolic code to form a cultural representation—my very own experiential mosaic.
Repetitive in nature, harmonious to the trained ears and hearts of a developed mass of consciousness or minds yearning for something in which we both share and respect—humanity.
One that embraces difference, originality, obscure thoughts and emotions, tenderness, love, patience, perseverance, courage, and sentimentality for those that exist beyond our reach.
Accepting the struggle that was tailor-made for our broad shoulders and backs.
I welcome this challenge even as my stride becomes hampered
For as with each step that I take
I further embrace the requirements that I live in the discomfort.
The discomfort of a continued evolution of mind, body, and spirit…

Tangible Rewards of Teaching

30 Monday Sep 2013

Posted by in Educational Trenches, Live In The Discomfort

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As I continue to talk about what I find the PROFESSION of teaching requires–living in the discomfort–I had the pleasure of having a conversation with a former student that has led me to this current entry.
Some back story…

My evolution as a teacher continues to occur in which I honestly have to say has been shaped by many of my former students’ impacts on me and my thinking over the years. They have challenged me in ways that I never thought that they would or even could. One of those areas is being more patient with them and their development and/or perceived needs. I must be the first to admit that while I love teaching and learning, I have noticed that I have more patience with learners in the primary grades. My expectations of my adult students and what they brought with them to the learning space was constantly at odds with most of what they actively would show. Sometimes what I thought that they should or would know, as undergraduates, was not always the case. Sometimes the amount of effort or passion that I assumed them to have was not the case either.

Now as I say that, there were plenty of students who were amazing and demonstrated vast amounts of intelligence, creativity, dedication, motivation, and the like. As a teacher, we sometimes take those students for granted and expect them to grace our classrooms with all of their potential and abilities. But when those gifted students’ gifts don’t appear as I expect them to, I now realize that those situations were my greatest challenges. This disconnect was painful for me to realize and accept: Why can’t they _______? Why won’t they _________? Why haven’t they ______? These are questions that I found myself reflecting on and asking my mentors periodically. I kept thinking that my students could do this or that. I never saw them as having deficits, but instead I saw that as not reaching or maximizing their potentials. What I failed to realize in that line of thinking was that while they had the potential, I often didn’t scaffold to the degree in which they may have needed. This realization meant that I had to relearn the level of variance within them regarding things that I considered to be foundational to undergraduate students (i.e., writing and critical thinking).

Now back to the conversation with my student…

In talking with my former student, I was pleasantly reminded of the student’s ability to actualize success. What I mean by that is even though I sought and often demanded a great deal from my students, their respective paths to success are as infinite as their minds, the context they’re in, and the varied supportive mechanisms afforded to them. As a result, I am now more aware of this part of my teaching identity–the critical idealist. And my former student’s current successes and the fond memories that I have during our time in the course have become even more powerful for me. For this was a student who I felt challenged my teaching in ways that made it better. The student’s persistence, creativity, and thoughtfulness during class assignments and discussions still appear in what my student is currently achieving. While, I speak of my student with some attempt of maintaining anonymity, if that student is currently reading; I would like to say I’m very proud of you. And more importantly, thank you!

As I have found to be true within the field of education, many times our students can be our best teachers when we’re willing to listen…

Until next time.

PSDW~

The Struggles of Teaching

29 Sunday Sep 2013

Posted by in Educational Trenches, Live In The Discomfort, Uncategorized

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The beauty found within teaching for me is something that has little to compare with. You see the growth, determination, creative, among other things of your students as they pursue their educational goals and dreams. These things are, at least for me, the most important aspects for why I do what I do. Seeing diamonds in the rough take shape and form all that you hope and more is so rewarding. I have had the privilege of seeing 6 years olds blossom into amazing teens, college undergraduates harness their abilities in ways that I wonder if they would have dared attempt during previous opportunities, and graduate students traverse the challenges of reclaiming their sense of direction within their educational journeys. All of this matters to me as an educator. There is nothing like it for me, even when many of my contemporaries deny our students the opportunities to flourish. The field of education requires remarkable women and men to serve as educational stewards for future generations of community members. No matter the background we have to safeguard ourselves from our own tendencies to undermine our expectations for and of the potentials of future generations. When I think of all of the students who I have taught, I find pride in the fact that, whether they realize it or not, I imparted at least a little wisdom and knowledge to them. 

The educational conundrum is one that most public educators have some level of familiarity with. Whether you were an elementary teacher, as I was, or a middle school/high school teacher, seeing your students become more of they were and are has to touch your heart. Why else would you become a teacher? 

Yet with all of this hope and promise, we find our schools and schools systems failing our kids in some form or fashion. The lack of support for our public schools, in certain areas of course, allows for others, who usually aren’t educational professionals to make decisions that are often uninformed yet have dramatic effects of the lives of young learners. Standardized tests have become the archenemies of most educators who have experienced third person test anxiety—witnessing your students get scared while taking the test. 

Living in the Discomfort: A Journey of Self Discovery and Actualization

08 Sunday Sep 2013

Posted by in Live In The Discomfort

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Through the advice of one of my longtime mentors, I was encouraged to read a short yet profound book, The Dip: A Little Book That Teaches You When to Quit (and When to Stick). Maybe he sensed something stirring inside of me that I had yet to really recognize for myself. In this book, author Seth Godin wrote and referred to this place that I was finding myself a very straightforward way. I won’t tell you any more than that because I think that anyone who is at a point where they are not sure if they want to persevere or quit (whatever that “it” may be) should read this and make their own decision(s). After reading this book, I have bought it for some and encouraged others I have taught, who I sensed had approached a similar point in their journeys, to read and/or buy it. Yet, I, as time has passed, found that “The Dip” was incomplete in capturing and aiding me in my own evolutionary journey.

As I now sit here in a public space, I find myself reflecting on the journey that I’m currently on. It is full of wonderful experiences that I would not trade for the world, yet it also has its moments in which I quite honestly wonder why I’m here and doing what I do beyond that of an educator. As this new entry unfolds, I will share those moments when I find myself in the very place that I seek to convey through these posts, a place of discomfort. How did I get to the point where I would openly and honestly share moments of vulnerability with those who elect to read? I honestly don’t know. I would like to say it came with my evolution as a budding scholar/intellectual/educator/poet and all of the other descriptors I’ve collected over my lifetime. I would like to believe it was when I began teaching as a faculty member at my current university, the University of South Florida. Or could it have been when personal decisions caused me to rethink my vision of who and what I wished to be holistically. Over the course of these entries, perhaps these questions will be answered for myself and maybe someone else who finds her/himself in a comparable place.

So with all of this being said, I welcome you to “Living in the Discomfort: A Journey of Self Discovery and Actualization”. In this process, let’s see where this journey will take us. I encourage others to comment and share their moments of “living in the discomfort” as well. The ball is now in your court until my next entry…

PSDW~