Tag Archives: Identity

Assail

18 Saturday Feb 2017

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A festive congregation of diverse forms
Gathered in joy and celebration
Unknowingly targeted for reasons
Subjectively debated and/or ignored
The setting places those who truly
Seek to be advocates and allies
In perilous conundrums
Scared hearts and bodies
Others cold and riddled
Propaganda is the last thing needed
Or wanted to be heard
By a family, lover, and/or friend of anyone
Who was assailed
Violated
Traumatized
Or even scapegoated
Identities fractured by incomplete
Or politicized objectives
The absolute truth may never truly be known
Yet we can concretely deduce
There are no true winners if all of us
Truly embrace our humanity
Advocacy means we share our voices with those
Who oppression continues to work to mute
Advocacy means not playing the victim-blaming game
That often becomes the means of historical erasure
With each last breath or aching wound
Whether physical or emotional
We have all lost and are under assail
Race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, and culture among other aspects of our humanity
Have been further eroded
Orlando is just one of many examples of the
Detrimental effects of hate no matter the rationale
Love is not the solution when it is cloaked in complacency and inaction that shuns levels of sacrifice
Until each breath inhales this unalterable truth
There is no true we, yet the current national, societal, and political stances
Empower an assailant that has historically mutated
Each second, minute, hour, day, year, decade, and century
Known as the “American” F
Fear…

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Standing Alone

30 Saturday May 2015

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Often the challenge faced requires one to go against the grain
The question of being a leader or follower is one that faces us time and time again
Society suggests a contradictory message in which we are both isolated but viewed as a collective
We are grouped and segregated by a host of descriptors that are now the norm
Normal for whom?
Normal for what?
Normal for the maintenance of a status quo that shames, demeans, and oppresses
Any who does not meet the “eye test”
The “actions test”
The “American Patriot test”
These are very challenging times where fear has a strong grasp on the lives and realities of so many
News features and calls for fear, resonating with a collection of persons who have been taught not to question or ask
but instead to accept
How did this happen you ask?
It actually has always been,
for this country
It just depended on who you were and how you were classified.
If you were female, patriarchy ruled your world
If you were African, Asian, Irish, Indigenous, and many other identities you were relegated to inferior status or worse
This is the context in which our realities have been shaped
Our worldviews are fortified with institutionalized oppression in the forms of racism, sexism, heterosexism, classism, ageism, and the list continues to grow.
We are undoing our existence through the enabling and pacifying of our rights
Not the rights to oppress those who do not
Look like us
Love like us
Think like us
Speak like us
Pray like us
We are standing alone
because we are and have been taught
to be afraid to stand together…

Broken Sparrow

29 Friday May 2015

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Challenged in nature
Weak
Perched on a ledge
Unable to fly
Damaged feathers
A wounded wing
Unable to balance

Perched on a ledge
Wishing to soar
Wishing to leave
This place
This ledge

Limited movement
Exposed to the environment
Predators lurking all around
Waiting for the opportune moment to
Conquer
Capture
Consume
Devour

Perched on a ledge
Unable to fly
Damaged feathers
A wounded wing
Unable to balance

Perched on a ledge
Broken Sparrow
Seeking to fly
To return home
To its nest
Weak
Unable to fly
Unable to soar

Here comes the rain
Saturating what remains
What is uninjured
Chirping between
The constant patter of raindrops
As if help were within its song

More unwanted attention is drawn
Recognizing the situation
That is ideal for most predators
Seeking an easy prize
Vulnerable
Yet determined
To fly
To soar
To make it home
To its nest

Perseverance is a characteristic of more than just humans
The broken sparrow can attest to this
Not relenting
Not giving in
Not giving up
Seeking and searching
For a way
For an answer
For survival

Life does not always readily
Place those answers obviously at our feet
Yet the broken sparrow continues to
Test
Challenge
Discover
Among the rain and would be predators
Salvation

Perched on a ledge
Unable to fly
Damaged feathers
A wounded wing
Unable to balance

Perched on a ledge
Wishing to soar
Wishing to leave
This place
This ledge

The broken sparrow can attest to this
Not relenting
Not giving in
Not giving up
Seeking and searching
For a way
For an answer
For survival…

Twists and Turns

25 Monday May 2015

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Each step that we take
amounts to a collection of the decisions that we’ve made
Each step that we take informs us and others
of the person who we are and seek to become
Yet, as we forge our destines
we are inextricably linked
To the understandings and misinterpretations of those
who serve as the world’s voyeurs
We are on display for the world to see
Our mistakes
Our successes
Our weaknesses
Our strengths
Each step that we take creates more material for others to sort through
Creating a mosaic out of our calculated footprints
Each step that we make
when thought of this manner
Can create a paralysis within us that hinders our progress
Or cause our respective gates to become hindered
There is nothing like walking through your journey with additional weights upon your shoulders
Hampered by the burdens of imperfection and idolization of false images and expectations
Each step that we make is one that has a rippling effect
One that gives others the inspiration to take their very own steps
Or on the contrary
Serves as their models for ineptness and failure
Each step that we make matters for so many unseen reasons
Each step that we make is one less that our life will have the opportunity for
So what will you do with your precious path?
How you will provide a way for those who seek to emulate your movements?
How will you decide what helps to govern yours?
With each step that we make
We reaffirm or redefine who we are meant to be in this world
Each step is precious
Each step is both singular and plural
Each step puts us on our paths full of twists and turns

Sirens Blazing

24 Sunday May 2015

Posted by in Poetry, Racialization Impacts

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Sirens blazing
Shots fired
Lives lost
Tears flowing

Sirens blazing
Shots fired
Lives lost
Tears flowing

A vicious cycle plaguing a nation full of rage
Rage that was neither emancipated in the age of Lincoln
Nor transcended with the election of Obama
In the spirit of bell hooks,
Black Looks and Killing Rage
Are still points of contingency for The Souls of Black Folk

Where are our Ida B. Wells or Sojourner Truths as the noose is replaced by the shield?
As the white sheets that supposedly aided The Birth of a Nation appear to be replaced by the “women and men in blue”
Is this a visceral reaction to a troubling time in this nation’s history?
For some, the answer will ultimately be “yes” but for others it will be more of the status quo.

A status quo response to the historic oppression and denigration of a collection of people who seem to have never received the promise of humanity
A collection of people whose bodies are riddled with emotional, physical, psychological, and visual assaults

Perceptions that continue for Africana women in the manner in which their bodies are assailed in a land of Patriarchy
Perceptions that continue as men of African descent no matter how well groomed or dressed still receive the “clench your purse” and/or “lock your door” treatment

Sirens blazing
Shots fired
Lives lost
Tears flowing

Sirens blazing
Shots fired
Lives lost
Tears flowing

Bloody streets along dilapidated buildings
Underfunded communities make for easy targets
Not solely for the spectacle of media coverage but for the many corporate and venture capitalists who will undoubtedly swoop in for bargain prices to fulfill their duties of gentrification

Bye-bye Fourth Ward AKA Freedmen’s Town in Houston, TX
Bye-bye to as many indicators of the past that cannot be revised by our Educational Agencies and elected/appointed officials who wish to promote a particular narrative

Sirens blazing
Shots fired
Lives lost
Tears flowing

Sirens blazing
Shots fired
Lives lost
Tears flowing

Are chickens coming home to roost?
El-Hajj Malik El-Shabazz once raised such a point
And we are still waiting for an explicit answer

Sirens
Shots
Lives
Tears…

Relegated Revelations

25 Saturday Apr 2015

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We start our journeys
One thought
One step
One instilled value
At a time
We are shaped by our environment(s)
Both the visible and invisible elements
Within each aspect we find more of ourselves
Or at least the self that we have been taught to see
Relegated revelations
The byproducts of embracing life’s journey
Questioning each step and phase as it happens
Recognizing the harsh reality that much of what we have come to embrace as truth is less accurate than what we may have originally perceived
as we experience our very own
Relegated revelations

Seeking Satisfaction

26 Thursday Mar 2015

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The choices that make our lives unique
Come at a premium that often we, at the outset, are unwilling to pay
We find external excuses or justifications to satisfy our ineptness
Our insecurities
Our inability to accept our faults
Seeking satisfaction comes at a cost
Temporary pleasure often is at the expense of a lifetime of trust
Fleeting accomplishments are what we are more accustom to these days
We are creatures of substance who have for some unfortunate reason
lost our way
We, in our moments of dismay, seek what is often the worst thing for us
on our respective journeys
We find satisfaction in vices of pleasure or materialism
Forgetting the substances that feed our souls or inner selves
We become idle beings who are waiting for Superman
A figment of our creation and not that of Siegel and Shuster
We conform to others’ whims and wishes
Hoping to make them our own
Hoping that we can fool ourselves into a false sense of self actualization
Seeking satisfaction
While enduring a world of agony
Problematizes all that we hold dear
Hold as truth
Hold us together
We are ultimately fragmentized
Rendered emotionally impotent
A survivor of our own personal holocaust
Such a painful word that evokes such memories is intentional
For we, who have been emotionally scared, continue to wear our identifiers
Our emotional tattoos or, in some cases, a modern day scarlet letter
An imaginary yet ever so real reminder of the person
we wish we were not being
who resides in our mirrors
Seeking satisfaction is our battle cry
For a silent yet painstaking internal war
As if Dan Brown was the author
The irony of Angels and Demons
on this day
Robert Langdon has no answers that quench our insatiable thirsts
Seeking satisfaction
Is like we are Perceval chasing a Holy Grail
without any clues…

Trails of Frustration

18 Thursday Dec 2014

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The more I have tried the harder it has seemed
To get closer to you while being me
Authenticity appears to be a staple frame of reference yet not a stapled reality
Managing perspectives to deliver catered messages is not the communiqué in which I wish to be the conveyor
Nor
Author
Trust and vulnerability are not easy to come by
Or manifest for the sake of another
Yet I continue to occupy these like Wall Street
or
Ferguson
I’m the protester
Authenticity is so much more yet so hard to achieve and/or recognize
In a world of emotional landmines that two hearts have endure constant bombardment
Yet, I still stand
as
Maya still rose
Frustration is a real emotion that seems to follow me each and every step of my journey
Whether it is from not being understood or viewed as some exotic threat
Frustration is found within a desired belief that what I deserve is out there
And waiting
And wanting the same from me
A connection
A commitment
Trust
Honesty
Frustration is in the extrapolation of complexity for the desire of simplicity
Frustration is in the unachieved yet anticipated
Frustration is found within
As I seek to gain a meaningful connection with you…

Dark & Stormy

21 Friday Nov 2014

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Dwelling within an eternal space that amasses such memories
Memories that solicit inner emotions that require
1 to harness
much from within
1 to grapple with those things that are often held true
It is essential for what we hold inside
that we yield
our willingness to acquiesce to others’ understandings and accepted values
That we challenge our own conventions
An internal status quo
We are mere subjects in others’ scripts of our realities
How does that even happen?
How did we become pawns in our own game of checkers?
As insane as that may sound
we tend to allow our realities to be
improperly depicted by others
at ever turn or opportunity
As linear as we wish our lives to be
We are not that simplistic
We are as complex as we allow ourselves to discover
Yet, most of us are hindered
Hindered by our fears of what we may discover
Or what others have reconfigured our figured worlds to be
How did we enter into this darkness
the storm that presents itself?
For us to embark upon
Where is our beacon?
Where is our North Star?
Where is our means to an end?
Amid the darkness
we are challenged to find our light
Not from the presence of others
but from that which we find within
The storm is not over as many evangelically love to espouse
It has only just begun
For we are called to put ourselves on trail
Unlike the likes of Ferguson…

You

19 Wednesday Nov 2014

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The beauty of discovery is one that places us in varied states
Some of us deny ourselves the opportunity that is presented to us
Others embrace it for all that the experience offers
Why do we find ourselves limiting our opportunities between two contrasting views
that ultimately limit all of our possibilities?
We “either or” ourselves into complacency
Instead of “both anding” ourselves into our greatness
The likelihood of us ever achieving this feat is not found in
meritocratic principles that perpetuate us failing to achieve our best selves
Instead, we stunt our growth based on the perceptions of others who often are unaware of our hidden gems
Why have we become accustomed to settling for less than what we deserve?
Or even more so, why do we stunt our own promise by following the trumpeting of someone else’s tune?
We are fragile in this way?
Or better yet
malleable to the whims of those whose thoughts we’ve come to privilege
over our very own?
Don’t take the words on this page as absolute
for if you did
then you are perpetuating the process in which this was written to question
You have to reconnect with your intellect
Your inner curiosity
Your inner self
You have to be the driver of the knowledge that you have taken in within a critical framework
No longer accepting the quo that is so often the status
found within
The conversations that we have
The communities in which we live
The dreams that we allow to be so easily squandered
You can no longer just be the best you that you currently know
You have be best you
that you have YET to fully comprehend…

Seeking and Searching

07 Friday Nov 2014

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Many of us come to the hard realization that we have not…
Whatever follows the ellipsis is for you, the reader, to insert
Some examples that come to mind are we have not:
Done enough
Tried hard enough
Listened or learned enough
Cared enough
All of these suggestions may connect with many of you whose gaze may have found this screen
As I began writing this collection of words,
I thought that I was about to write some type of thought provoking poem
Something that I could share with you and create a new level of connection
Yet, I find that this collection of thoughts has an agenda of its own
And as a result, I will yield to it as it sees fit
Why does this realization have to occur at this exact moment?
I really do not know
Does it matter to me?
Of course it does, why else would I continue to stroke my keyboard.
Much of what I have written within this blog and throughout this short time as a writer/researcher has been in search of something
That something has been a host of different things and answers
Sometimes I have been searching or seeking questions
In any case, I find that the more that I traveled along this journey the more beautiful
It has become
But I could not be without honesty, in my declaration,
that there often was more pain found in this journey than beauty
This hard realization that I speak of,
I’m sure that many of you can declare your very own journey within your narrative
We are all passengers, and if we are lucky, drivers in our travels
We take detours
We get lost
Only to be found or find that most important thing(s) or person(s)
I know that within this beautifully painful journey that I’m currently on
I have been more than fortunate to find special people who no matter how distant they are now
Reside within my heart and mind in the most profound ways
We continue to seek and search out those valuable moments in the midst of our pain
We continue to fool ourselves into getting up when we’ve been knocked down
By whatever life has placed before us or even behind us
Did we try hard enough?
I wonder that so many times about various interactions that I’ve had over my lifetime
That conclusion has yet to be answered, but of course
In that lies the beauty of the pain
Some have said that to feel pain is to truly live
For how do we know what truly matters to us if we never know how much losing it truly impacts us?
Friendships, loves, family, and ourselves
All of the above have at various times been both lost and found along this journey
What does one listen and learn from when the lessons are for others?
What does one do when all that they do is not enough?
Caring is a word that is a foreign language that one must speak
With hopes that the interpreter finds the right message
Seeking and searching is what we do each and every day
Seeking and searching is our means for moving forward
Moving beyond our current realities
Seeking and searching
For the answers to our internal questions and quests
Seeking and searching for our inner and external peace
We can always stop, but if we do
what have we allowed to slip through our grasps?
Seeking and searching is
Is just that…

On a Projected Canvas

04 Tuesday Nov 2014

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Innocence lost at the behest of vivid imaginations
Targeted in ways that are both subtle and direct
Questioned with the intent of proving guilt
Without representation
Without reprieve
Without reason
On a projected canvas
The lives of so many are written
Often without their consent or knowledge
Assumptions
More definitive than required with very little truly known
Assumptions are the nature of humanity
For both good and bad outcomes
Sometimes there is just gray
This is where this canvas is often situated
Yet, is not often allowed to exist within this space
As this space is reserved for others
Who might those others be?
That question is worth a million dollars
And cannot be answered within the crafting of this message
On a projected canvas
Fantasies are constructed
Insecurities are displaced
Doubts are affirmed
On this projected canvas
There is no refuge for this wayward soul
A soul that feels as if it has been projected as a Katrina refugee
As ill placed as that label was
Yet, for some, that title still holds true
Just not in the open
On a projected canvas
The image is a living contradiction
One that means so much to many yet
So little to others
The irony of this phenomenon is one that harbors on the ridiculous
If it were not experienced in the flesh
A flesh that is thought to be weak
A heart thought to be deformed or incapable of a committed melody
There is no conductor who can lead this misguided cast of characters
Let this story be told
Another project for those who love to project
Their own flaws
Their own doubts
Their own insecurities
This is not a misnomer nor a call to action
For the acts in question have already taken place
The canvas already has been painted
Yet, the subject was nowhere to be found during its invention
On a projected canvas
More is told about the crafter than what was allegedly crafted…

To What End…

22 Wednesday Oct 2014

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What in spires us finds its mark
In the most inopportune ways
We are taken in by its aura
We are captivated by its essence
We are entranced by strands of consciousness
That emote something from within
Within ourselves
Within our hearts
We shutter to think of that the outcomes represent
Yet we challenge ourselves to move forward
To embark
On our journey
Which life requires of us
For the alternative is what Sartre
Describes as Being and Nothingness
A duality that overshadows me
Always placed as the adversary
To what is viewed as ordinary
Normal
I by sheer definition then must be abnormal
For my reality and my thoughts seem to be steps out of place
Within my ever changing circles
In adapting loss of ones personhood is the only conceivable outcome
So along the margins I choose to remain
Marginalized or margin-less
The boundaries that are set for us are often the ones that we most set for ourselves through our fears and trepidations
Can we channel our spirits for something more
Even if it requires our all?
Can we see beyond our limits even if it impairs our present?
We are what we answer to.
Or better yet what we allow others to ascribe to us
We cannot be victims in our own existence
We have believe and perceive ourselves to be our very own champions
For without that belief within ourselves
What is at our core is fated to no longer exist
So live for life’s sake
Breathe fully
And love intensely
But make sure that all that are done are granted for yourself first
And not another…

The Importance of Family

21 Monday Jul 2014

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We live our lives for defined purposes
Whether it is of Biblical, Koranic, another sacred text or even our own belief systems
We are fashioned by our thoughts
Our inner desires
Our inner voices
We are driven
In many cases, the driving force is something more closely linked
Linked to our foundation that has been set in motion
Since our births
Family
Immediate or distant
Family is the common denominator
Whether biological or fictive
Family is the centerpiece
Mothers, Fathers, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Sisters, Brothers, Nieces, Nephews, Cousins and other extensions
We are family
Family shapes our experience
We are so lucky
Lucky to have people who love us for who we are and what we are not
Those who honor us by being the best models that they can be
They are our templates for who and what we can be
Often sacrificing their dreams and possibilities so that those who follow have clearer paths
Our heroes
Our hedges
Our sounding boards
For those of us who are fortunate enough to remember or have
Found memories of being held when we were scared or hurt
Being nurtured when we needed direction
Being disciplined when we left the proper paths
Family is our center
Our regulator of sorts
As many us of do not want to let them down
Fail them
And what they envision in us
Family, as we get older, extends to lasting friendships
Bonds that last through many decades
Through many pivotal points in our respective developments
Reflect on those names for a moment
Reflect on their significance in the shaping of your present and possible future
Honor them as they are embedded within your journey
They are your personified landmarks
They are your consciousness in human form
They are the most trusted voices in your life
Your heart is in tune with them
You have no doubts of their significance
When you’re honest with yourself
They are the importance for what keeps me willing to try
Willing to sacrifice
Willing to endure
All that my journey requires
To honor all of the elders who endured all that history tells us is no more
To be a role model and inspiration for all of the future and current generations who have my walk in their sights
They are watching
They are listening
And more importantly
They are waiting for me to be the best me that I have to offer
The importance of family can never be underestimated if we are truly wishing to be complete
It takes many forms and I’ve only identified a few
Envision what importance family has for you
Now that you’ve begun to do so
What are you going to add to that image?
What are you offering to that so important legacy?
The importance of it is love
Love for all that you are and aren’t
Love of your strengths
Love of your weaknesses
Love of your vulnerabilities
Love of your potential
The importance of family is that if you are willing
It can be created no matter where you are or go
It is one of the most beautiful aspects of the lived experience
Guard your journey as if it is the only one you’ll get
There is a good chance that it is…
And with each day moving forward
Embrace
Savor
Enhance
The family that is and even the family that isn’t
Build your family on the premises of love, respect, honesty, dignity, and support without neglecting the necessity of wisdom
Family is found in a hug
Family is found in a kiss
Family is found in each of us
Please allow its importance to radiate from within you for others to see and encounter
In doing so, you have the essence of
Family…

Honoring Home

22 Sunday Jun 2014

Posted by in Poetry, PSDW Reflective Journal

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Over the course of roughly eleven years
a journey has been embarked upon
In search of a means to make a difference within the communities that our children grow
While all of our children matter to educators who have a love and appreciation for the responsibilities that our profession demands
There are many examples of the contrary…
Yet, this is not the purpose of this conversation,
For that,
I have to look before that fateful day in 2003 when I tearfully left my safety net as a first grade teacher.
I have to look before my years teaching while simultaneously attending graduate schools in pursuit of master’s degrees in business administration and elementary education/curriculum instruction.
I have to look even further back during my wonderful years as a Panther at my alma mater, Prairie View A&M University, in which I still struggled with some of my childhood limitations and expressions of immaturity
But more importantly, I have to dig deeper into the recesses of my memories of lessons and struggles that preceded even these valuable moments in the shaping of the person who I am…
Honoring home is what I’d like to call my current entry
Honoring the wonderful efforts of a mother who always sacrificed for not only me but all of those whom she loved
A woman who instilled a “country-type” set of values for a son who connects more with the big city
Honoring a father whose focus was leading a business that has endured many seasons and weathered a multitude of torrential storms, with some being self-inflicted.
Honoring home is reflecting on my collection of brothers who in their own ways served as models for me even though they did this from considerable distances
Honoring home is remembering the sisterly influences that I have had the privilege of receiving from a collection of remarkable women who still inspire and advise me today in my most important life decisions
Honoring home is reflecting
Honoring home is an ongoing part of my every day
It is presenting myself with dignity, respect, professionalism, honesty, integrity, sensitivity, thoughtfulness, and pride as instilled into me by my family, extended family, friends, mentors, teachers, and yes, even my students.
Honoring home is living up to charge that I have been given as a future and current elder
Honoring home is being a person who elicits pride from those who I have been inspired by
Honoring home is demonstrating a desire to grow which ultimately is one of the true measures validating that the seeds that were planted within me have actually taken root and flourished
Honoring home is being a role model to my nieces and nephews who I love dearly
Honoring home is being the man that honors my ancestors who sacrificed for others who then ultimately sacrificed for me
Honoring home means that I live up to the standards and expectations that this path requires no matter the costs
Honoring home means embracing the inner beauty and drive that is the essence of who I am.
Honoring home is offering through dedication a legacy that fortifies the true essence of all of what I’ve stated above—love…
Honoring home is loving myself for no other reason than there was a community of love invested within me so that I could know how to love myself
Honoring home is a process that I seek to do one step at a time
So as I seek to honor home, I seek to offer the best that I can in the situations that I may find myself
whether the situations are in classrooms, meetings, and/or other social settings.
Honoring home is honoring the mission that home has essentially aided in me pursuing
Each time that I teach, I am honoring home near and far
Each time that I teach I am:
Honoring my ancestors
Honoring my family
Honoring my teachers
Honoring my mentors
Honoring my friends
Honoring my community
Honoring my students’ futures
Honoring the lives of the people who my students will touch
Honoring the love that I have for learning
Honoring what calls on me to pray and give thanks
Honoring home is why I am often so excited when I teach or talk about teaching
Honoring home provides me with the motivation and passion for how I do what I do
Honoring home is what you make it
Honoring home is what makes you…

So my question for you is, “How are you honoring your home?”